Letting Go Is Its Own Kind of Freedom

Things happen. With friends, at work, in the smallest corners of an ordinary day; things that sting or frustrate us. Someone at work takes credit for your idea. A friend you trusted shares something you told them in confidence. Plans you cared about, fall apart without warning. Some of it is unfair, and some of it you can’t control even if you try.

Our instinct is to grab for control. To rewrite the scene in our heads. To plan the perfect comeback. To make sure the other person knows exactly what they did. I’ve been there, driving home, replaying the moment, imagining the mic-drop line that would finally make it fair.

But gripping tighter doesn’t fix anything. It just keeps you stuck. Real control is choosing your reaction, not waiting and hoping to change someone else’s behaviour. Letting go doesn’t mean what happened was okay, it means you’re choosing not to let someone else’s choices rent space in your head and in your heart.

And this isn’t just a feel-good saying. Psychologists have shown that forgiveness and letting go lower anger and stress, improve mood, and even support physical health. Large studies following tens of thousands of people have found that those who forgive more easily feel less distress, more connection, and even enjoy better sleep and heart health.

But how can you practice Letting Go? Here are some of my personal favourite practices:

1. Notice and name what you’re feeling | Instead of shoving your anger or disappointment down, pause and actually name it: “I’m hurt,” “I’m frustrated,” or “I feel overlooked.” Naming your feelings takes them out of the swirl in your head and puts them somewhere you can see them clearly.

2. Breathe and create space | Take a minute to breathe deeply. Even a single minute of conscious breathing can lower the intensity of an emotional surge. This small gap can keep you from firing off a text or saying something you’ll regret.

3. Shift your focus forward | Ask yourself, “What can I influence now?” Often, it’s your next step or your own well-being, not the other person’s behaviour. Redirect your energy toward something that actually builds your life: a new project, a walk outside, a conversation with someone supportive.

4. Try meditation or mindfulness | You don’t need a cushion or an app to start. Sit quietly for two minutes, focus on your breath, and when your mind drifts back to the incident, gently guide it back. Research on mindfulness shows it helps the body recover faster from stress and reduces rumination (the mental replays that keep hurt alive).

5. Write it out | Journaling, even for ten minutes, helps process emotions and separate the event from your identity. Sometimes just seeing the words on paper makes it easier to release them.

6. Set healthy boundaries | Letting go doesn’t mean you have to keep everyone in your life. If someone repeatedly crosses lines, you can step back or limit access without holding onto resentment. Boundaries protect your peace without needing payback.

7. Practice small acts of self-compassion | Do something that centers you: go for a run, cook a favourite meal, call a friend who gets you. Shifting your focus to your own care reinforces that your energy belongs to you, not to the situation that hurt you.

Letting go isn’t about weakness or avoidance. It’s a choice to invest your energy where it matters most: your growth, your relationships, your future. Think of the times you didn’t send the angry text or didn’t chase down an apology. Remember how your shoulders softened? How your chest felt lighter? That’s the kind of freedom that waits on the other side of release.

Sometimes the bravest, healthiest thing you can do isn’t to win or prove anything. It’s to breathe, choose the response that protects your peace, and step forward untangled, unburdened, and free.

’Till next time…