Addicted to More Than We Realise

There’s a certain connotation for the word “addiction.” It makes you think of something extreme. Something outside yourself. Maybe a person on the street, a drink in someone’s hand, a pill in a drawer. It feels far away, dramatic. But what if it’s closer than we think?

What if addiction isn’t just about substances, but patterns?

Because here’s the thing: I’ve seen people addicted to work. Addicted to their productivity, to being needed, to getting one more thing done before they rest. I’ve seen people addicted to chaos, drawn like magnets to drama, stuck in loops they can’t seem to break. I’ve felt it myself too; those moments where something no longer feels like a choice, but a compulsion.

And that’s really the heart of addiction: compulsion, even when it hurts.

What Is Addiction, Really?

According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, addiction is a chronic dysfunction of the brain system involved in reward, motivation, and memory. It’s what happens when the brain starts craving a behaviour or substance, to get a certain feeling or escape a certain pain, even if the consequences are harmful.

What most people don’t realise is that this same loop can form around behaviours, not just drugs or alcohol. Things like work, social media, toxic love, gambling, food, or even “helping” others, if it becomes a way to avoid ourselves.

These are called behavioural addictions, and they light up the same brain circuits as substance use. Dopamine spikes, tolerance builds, and suddenly, the thing you thought was just a habit becomes your coping mechanism. Your identity, even.

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“Addiction is when you lose the freedom to stop.”

— Not a scientist, just someone who’s been there

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When the Thing You Love Starts Controlling You

I’ll be honest, there are times I’ve wondered if I’m addicted to my work.

I love what I do. I care deeply about doing it well. I take pride in delivering high quality work, and there’s real joy in that. But I’ve noticed how easy it is to cross a subtle line when “doing your best” becomes “proving your worth,” and “being passionate” becomes “never switching off.”

There’s this sneaky moment where work stops being just work and becomes a measuring stick for your value. And the scary part? You don’t always notice it. You just think you’re being responsible. Until suddenly you’re exhausted, disconnected, or anxious; and you don’t know why.

Lately, I’ve been learning how to step back. How to ground myself. How to realign my focus.

For me, that process is deeply tied to my faith. It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I’m a Christian. My relationship with God isn’t just something I lean on when life is hard, it’s the thing that gives it meaning. It’s what reminds me that my value isn’t tied to output, titles, or how perfectly I perform. That I’m loved, I’m enough, held; regardless of what I do or don’t achieve.

For someone else, that anchor might be different. It could be community, therapy, creativity, nature, a personal philosophy. Whatever it is, the point is this: we all need something stronger than the cycle to help us step out of it.

Why We Get Behavioural Addictions

Not because we’re weak. Not because we’re broken.

We get addicted because we’re human.

Some of us grew up with instability or pain that shaped our coping. Some of us live in cultures that reward overworking, over giving, overachieving. Some of us are just trying to fill a gap we don’t know how to name.

Addiction often starts as an attempt to feel better; more loved, more in control, less alone. It works, at first. Until it doesn’t.

Studies have shown that behavioural addictions, like internet or social media use, increased significantly during the COVID-19 pandemic. When life gets chaotic, the pull of these “escape hatches” becomes even stronger.

The Difference Between Passion and Addiction

Let’s make one thing clear: being passionate is not the same as being addicted.

One gives you energy. The other drains it.One expands your life. The other narrows it.One makes you feel free. The other makes you feel stuck.

If you can step away from something and still feel grounded, still feel yourself, that’s usually a sign of balance. But if walking away brings anxiety, fear, or emptiness, maybe it’s time to ask why.

What Helps

I’m not writing this to diagnose anyone. But if any of this sounds familiar, here are a few things I’ve found helpful, personally and from what the research suggests:

Awareness | The first step is just noticing. No judgment, no shame. Just awareness.

Boundaries | Addiction thrives in unstructured space. Clear boundaries can interrupt the loop.

Connection | Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or even a journal; naming it out loud helps.

Replacing, not just removing | Habits don’t vanish. They shift. It helps to replace them with something else, something meaningful.

A deeper anchor | For me, it's faith. For others, it could be many things. But having something larger than yourself helps break the illusion that you are what you do or crave.

Final Thoughts

Addiction doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes it looks like overcommitment. Like chasing praise. Like needing that one person’s approval. Or obsessing over the next win. And because it doesn’t look like destruction, we tell ourselves it’s fine.

But when something stops feeling like a choice, when it eats away at your peace and presence, that’s a sign.

Maybe the question isn’t whether we’re addicted in the traditional sense. Maybe it’s just this: What have we given too much power to?

Thanks for being here again. I missed writing :)

‘Till next time…